"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger".

After a super walk to BC spending only 5 days on the trail and an acclimatisation cycle straight to 7200m, I thought I was in position A. However, I contracted a virus that had me a fever and completely wasted at camp 2 on my summit bid, which I found myself struggling to recover from at altitude.

BC sits at around 5,000 meters. When it comes to recovering from a cut to a cough, it takes twice as long as it would at sea level; this is due to the natural stresses of living at this altitude, without added pressure on your body.

I was struggling to get over this virus and recover from the extreme stress I had put on my body getting to camp 2 on my summit push.

Lethargy like you can't imagine, heavy legs and upper body similar to having the flu was what I was experiencing. I was not in a place to tee up a second summit bid.

3/4 days at BC and I was feeling no better. I took a short stroll across camp to try and get 3G, but arrived feeling like I had walked to camp 2 and back. Legs heavy and out of breath; this was not the Pauly K we know in the mountains.

I started questioning a summit bid. Have I the energy? The legs to carry me to the summit? And more importantly would I have the energy and strength to return? Being totally honest the answer was No. I tried kidding myself and saying I can do this, but always at the back of my mind I knew a successful summit bid was out of reach in this condition.

If I went I would put huge pressure on my climbing partner, the sherpas and myself if something went horribly wrong. I was not to risk any of the above.

Climbing mountains is about managing risk and constant risk assessment of situations. I needed to manage this situation and if walking across camp wiped me out that should be a big enough sign to make a call.

I sat down and spoke with our logistic manager and talked it through and I had to make a decision, which was so hard to openly admit: 'My expedition was over'. The only way I would recover was to get to sea level.

Henry (logistics manager) was great and we talked for an hour or so about the mountains and how these situations occur and knock us down, but we must learn from them and pull positives from the situations we find ourselves in. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, 'the mountain will always be there, you may not'.

4 of the team who were climbing Everest, summited that night in pretty out there conditions, this was another wallop in the gut. I wanted to feel that success. A positive from this was these guys were heading out via chopper. My ride home, as it would have probably taken me a week or two to walk down valley and have further effect on my health.

Logistics all came together and after a 12'o clock chopper from BC to KTM and a flight that evening to LHR, in 24hrs I find myself at home resting and reflecting on the expedition. Even though I didn't summit, I find myself satisfied with what I got out of this trip. It's not all about the summit, it's about the journey. I feel I have learnt and gained so much in such a short time, met and made a couple of great friends and learnt from one of the best Himalayan guides in the game, Bill Crouse.

'Success is not always the gold medal, success can be deeper and more meaningful than the materialistic blagging rights of a victory'.

Lhotse 2013 didn't end as I would have hoped, but that's the nature of the beast and whenever in this hostile environment the two elements that will prevent a successful summit are health and weather. Both out of my control, but the brave and right decision to get back safe, were in my control. I wish all my fellow climbers safe and successful expeditions.

Thank you for the support.